Book according to St. Badass

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated

2005-09-21T20:38:28Z

Well I wonder if anyone remembers the brief period where I used to, I don't know, update journals with interesting stories claiming you would never hear me discuss my day to day activities such as "I woke up late for class, damn. ok More later" It's cool if you do it, I just said I wouldn't. However a sudden lack of interesting shit has left me with many a long absence on this bastard. I would have sworn they'd have cancelled my account by now. Nope. So yeah I'm still around. yeah i'm still in Dallas...for now. Yes I'm still writing and seeing more movies than I probably should. I am trying to get grad school started soon though so there will be updates on that as they come. At this point I'm just interested to see how many coments I get welcoming me back from the dead.

Jay

Next person tells me I need to update get's I dunno...a psychic scolding. Or firebombed I'm not sure.

I'm so WONDERFUL!

2005-05-05T02:58:57Z

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #4 Match: ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #5 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

awesomestbadass @ 2005-04-16T02:38:00

2005-04-16T07:38:09Z

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.
Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.

Your date match profile:

Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Adventurous
3. Intellectual
4. Sensual
5. Wealthy/Ambitious
6. Big-Hearted
7. Practical
8. Athletic
9. Outgoing
10. Funny

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Practical
2. Adventurous
3. Intellectual
4. Traditional
5. Shy
6. Conservative
7. Athletic
8. Funny
9. Big-Hearted
10. Sensual

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Well who knew I was Liberal? I'll be damned

from the grave I rise to deliver a blistering assault of KICK ASS!

2005-04-12T01:09:28Z

So. I have been informed, many, many times, that I have no updated my Live Journal in quite some time. In fact much of my post now may revolve around why I dont update. Simply put, I dont have shit to say. So me telling you that I dont have shit to tell you surely must seem odd. That being said...hey. What's up everybody. Lots of jack shit going on on the homefront. No ladies in waiting, no exciting job news, no new people checked off my "to Kill" list. I have begun working fervently on my books/short stories/sexual fantasies, so look for them soon. As for everybody else who hasn't spoken to me in a while, you havent missed much. I'm still seeing movies out the ass, I'm still...well thats pretty much it. Anywho...I guess thats enough for the time being. If something amazing occurs I'll update...so...unlikely to see me again for a while. But who knows, crazier things have happened. Look who's still our president.

AVP Sad-A-Thon

2004-08-14T02:18:45Z

Well it began as most ideas began, with a thought. That thought sent words to a mouth that knew as soon as these words were allowed to pass out of it, would fear the outcome.

Jay: So we seeing AVP midnight thursday?

Josh: Yeah sure, that sounds cool.

Jay: I say we watch Aliens and Predator 1 before we see it.

Josh: Cool.

Jay: Hehe I figure in lieu of watching them all we can watch arguably the best of the series. Don't have time to watch them all.

Josh: Hmm...well, what have you got going on til then?

Jay: Nothing really.

Josh: Well why don't we watch all of them?

Jay: What...like in a row?

....and so it began. What started as a "Man we're not that sad" became word of mouth jokes, and a sunday evening bored suggestion became a monday afternoon scheduling. We were gonna do it. So an afternoon viewing of collateral throws a wrench into the works...."sky captain passes thursday 730"....son of a bitch. The movie I've been dying to see all year, possibly seeing it a month early made me almost rape the pass guy right there. But I stopped myself. my raping days are over til i get a job as a girls high school volleyball coach.

So now what? Well I'll tell you what! Let's watch the predators early then all the aliens on thursday before sky captain...that should work!

No the gods of work...or as I call them "Fuck You and Associates" decided to schedule Josh and I all fucked up this week so the only way we could fit in all 8 movies was to start early thursday. so among work the word has spread. Josh and Jerome were going all geeked out thursday 8 movies, 18hrs...the makings of movie geeks indeed.

So Thursday at 5am my alarm goes off T-60mins til the start of the avp-sad-a-thon. I get the coffee brewing the coke chilled, and the speed and cocaine in emergency pez dispensers and flonase containers.

we begin with Predator. This film still rocks, even by today's standards...which considering the shit that comes out today should be adjusted back to Predator's standards. The world needs another Dutch, who else can stab a guy to a wall and say "stick around" and make you think.."man I hope this big 'american' brute doesnt kill me and make some smartassed remark about it." Then there's the predator...or as I call him Mr. Vagina Dentata. He's the shit and he knows it. Predator started the day with a bang.

Then we did Alien cause for some reason we decided to break order (blame Josh) If you've seen it you know it. Its cool, its atmospheric, its slow...but its great. Andy joined us for most of Alien as he had never seen it. I dont know his thoughts on it cause he left and did something...I dont know I was at this point engrossed in Predator 2

Predator 2...now here's a movie I remember thinking was awesome as a kid. Now as an adult I watch this movie thinking...WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT DANNY GLOVER WAS A GOOD REPLACEMENT! Danny glover saying lines like "thats like cutting off my dick and sticking it up my ass" does not work. and predator killing at random doesnt fit. hes a hunter. its no fun if he's got anyone to pick off at will. Oh well this movie was saved by the brilliant scene where the drug lords sniff their coke then rub some on themselves. cause nothing makes a jamaican drug lord tougher than bathing himself in glorious glorious cocaine!

next was Aliens...This movie, like predator, put the day at a high action wise. who can forget Hudson's immortal words "Game over man! Game over!" or ripley in the loader vs. the bitch? You can't so dont even try. Its at this point that I think...wow...these movies are fucking long...

Alien 3 cemented that thought. as a rule we said we'd watch the special editions of all. so when the alien 3 showing began right around the time the lull in the day came this film became an endurance trial. long, slow, and forcing the audience to think...I really have a respect for this movie that most don't, I think if it wasn't an aliens movie it would be respected more. but as it is...doing what it does with some characters..I like it, but I have to say...its fucking weird.

now Alien Resurrection....that is all...

Actually I do have to say, while a dumb movie. its entertaining to me. who doesn't love a movie that makes you say "wow ron perlman is actually more attractive as a big horned rock armed demon. creepy" or "I bet Brad Dourif would fuck the mother alien if he wasn't stuck to the wall like that" but resurrection ended, andy and josh crowder had joined and it was time for sky captain.

now I cant say much about this cause I apparently agreed not to say stuff online or publicly about it til its release but I can say from my point it was one of the coolest movies I've seen in ages. I havent felt that way since I first saw raiders and last crusade. nothing they have shown you gives anything away. this movie is cool, and just gets cooler as it goes.

but then came avp...

now while I dont normally agree with anything said on Aint it cool news I must say I agreed with harry knowles statement that avp is "an entertaining piece of shit" Its big its loud its dumb and it totally doesnt truly respect its predecessors. but ya know...any movie that can include a predator & heroine running away from an explosion shot is good in my books. And though there are awkward scense that made me say "Kiss For Predator" those alien vs. the predator fights were awesome.

Here are some caps

Here'swhen the alien and predator team up A-Team Style

And so our night ended at 2am....many movies later. We should have marked ourselves like the predator for proving ourselves as true movies geeks...I know what you're thinking. this success is going to go to my head....absolutely not! Don't let my new gold crown fool you. I'm just like every other mortal man...who is awesome enough to watch 8 movies straight...respect my gangsta!

and so ended the sad-a-thon '04

random quotes from the day:

The Niggers will stop the predator!

"Billy sure does like sucking off that vine."

"If you had to fuck an alien or a predator..."

"Statutoriffic"

"I am so much better than this spaceship!"

"Predator says You got the juice now."

"My regret is that the aliens can't speak and subtitle it saying "you're one ugly motherfucker" damn PG-13"

"Did those fachuggers just pull a Matrix?"

"I could so take that alien. ya know. If I were Jesus...and if Jesus was the hulk.."

"Angelina had an eyepatch! Oh yeah! 4 holes!"

awesomestbadass @ 2004-07-28T00:58:00

2004-07-28T06:12:39Z

[The Vitals]
- Full name: Jerome Micah Vincent Phillips
- Location: Dallas, TX
- Natural hair color: very dark brown
- Present hair color: very light black
- Eye color: Brown
- Religion: Jedi
- Sexual preference: As Soon As Possible
- Bra size/Penis size: Big enough goddamit.

[The Nosy]
- What color is your underwear? blue
- Do you have a crush on someone? yes
- Does anyone have a crush on you? Everyone has a crush on me in the land of Delusion.
- What turns you on? The switch in between my legs. go ahead ladies. give it a flick.
- Which celebrities do you find attractive? Laetitia Casta, Keira Knightley, Abe Vigoda, Charisma Carpenter, Alysson Hannigan, Roger Ebert.
- Which celebrities would you make out with given the chance? oh...he knows who.
- Which of your friends do you find attractive? The hot chicks.

[The Perverted]
- Have you ever watched porn? Watched it, used it, saved it for later.
- Did you enjoy it? See Above.
- Have you ever really kissed a girl? yes
- Have you ever really kissed a boy? no...not really really.

[The Morals]
- Would you kiss someone you don't love? yes
- Have you ever been in love? felt like it at the time
- Do you want to get married? now...this is so sudden, and you got me such a cheap ring...but okay...let's do it!

[The Ending]
- What is the time? 1:08 AM
- How long did this take you? 6 minutes
- Did you enjoy this? Why the F not.
- What did you do most during this survey? talked on IM
- Any final thoughts? Hooray Beer!

First real kiss: My My Buddy Doll.
First job: telemarketer
First funeral: great uncle
First pets: pepper, some kinda damn dog.
First piercing: cock
First big trip: Disney
Last big car ride: to London.
Last kiss: ah... Mike
Last good cry: White Chicks...it wouldnt stop.
Last movie seen: Farenheit 9/11
Last beverage drank: Apple Juice
Last phone call: Mom...okay not mom...sex line.
Last shoes worn: Skechers skater shoes.
Last CD played: The Beatles- Sgt. Peppers.
Last item bought: Hellboy...and a hooker.
Last disappointment: hooker had a cock.
Last soda drank: Coke
Last ice cream eaten: Ben & Jerry's Half Baked.
Last shirt worn: black sexin' shirt.

fucking surveys

2004-04-29T11:43:16Z

1)Name: Jerome, Jay, Choclit Thundah, Pussmama J,
"Number 4 turn to the right"

2)Birthday: October 22, 1982 Rebirth Date: October 22,
2003 (Think about it...)

3)Live in: Live in what? Is that a question or do you
want me to finish a sentence. Live in Hell. Live in
Cleveland. Okay you're right those two are redundant.
How's Live in sin. It's much more fun. Like being the
kid who eats all tha candy at Willy Wonka's factory,
only this time with tits all around.

4)Hobbies: killing folks...I mean...uhhh...watching
tv. Helping out disadvantaged kids, cleaning up the
environment, protesting bad stuff, donating to
charity, and sodomy....dammit. Everytime I make myself
look good I say something to fuck it up. Oh well. Come
back here Bruno!

5)Wish I was: On my way to a foreign country. To try a
new culture, and a new beginning. Preferably one with
legalized prostitution.

6)Last book I read: Is Skank magazine considered a
book? If so then Skank magazine, though I didnt
exactly read.

7)Last movie I saw: Backdoor Bitches 17, its a
ummm, period piece about these classy young ladies
who, keep allowing these random distinguished
gentlemen to come in through thier backdoor. By which
i mean anal sex. And it results in an algonquin
roundtable of sorts as the group meets to um discuss,
well, religion and anatomy and fucking mostly.

8)Favorite show: Simpsons, Monk, Dead Like Me,
My White Mama, Spooky and Nightshade, and Shiny Things
moving around the screen Channel

9)At the moment I feel: Um, nothing...well I mean its
SOMETHING, a lot of SOMETHING but uhh...yeah I'm not
feeling nothing...OH YOU MEAN FEELINGS! Umm, well
obviously not shame.

10)Current sources of irritation: Well I got this
rash, its uhh...I think the technical term is
Gonaherpasyphalaids.

11)General pet peeve: when people try to kill me just
cause I accidentally hit them with my car repeatedly
on 3 separate occasions. I swear it was unintentional.
and so will the next time be.

12)What did you do last night: I wrote a long
conversation in my story. Lots of bitching. Its so much fun. Oh and I
grave robbed for jewels. Dallas people hide thier shit
well.

13)Something people don’t know about me: Ventriloquist Dummy Sex. Next big thing trust me!

14)A recent decision I made: I want some doughnuts.

15)If I won a million dollars I would: buy a midget
ranch. Then I'd start me a cult of munchkins and they
would ALL dress like Oompa Loompas and any kid that
comes in there would be tortured till their minds were
blown and they became my little catatonic
animatronics. Fucking kids...

16)If I could change anything about myself: I would
like to change my nickname to "I got me some"

17)Right now I'm working on: writing a book, a plan in
the getting me some.

18)Latest fetish: Well there is this complicated one
with honey, fire, jumper cables, and a car battery.

19)I spend too much money on: My crack habit. but its
either spend the money, or suck the dealer's cock. and
I aint doing that fifteen more times. Fourteen maybe.
But I drawn the line at fifteen. Maybe sixteen.
Thirty-five tops!

20) If I could have lunch w/one celebrity it would
be: Samuel L. Jackson. We'd be sitting around having a
"who says muthafucka best" contest. It would kick ass.

William Hung is The Antichrist

2004-04-21T08:18:41Z

I know you're all thinking and yes you're right. This "singing" phenomenon is the fucking spawn of Satan. I decided on a whim to give it a listen to see how truly bad it is and I shit you not it was as if listening to the very shrieks and moans of Hell itself. His rendition of Hotel California rivals anything hollywood has ever committed to celluloid. Exorcist move over, there's a new devil in town and he's Hung.

Wait that doesnt sound right....

no girls under 17 can ride this ride baby

2004-04-08T17:55:01Z

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

My Future in TV

2004-03-29T20:28:35Z

MicahVincent00 (10:43:07 PM): hmm I think I need to be the single black guy on a successful tv nighttime soap opera

YTS8088 (10:43:18 PM): yea

MicahVincent00 (10:43:38 PM): that way people dont really need to know my name I could jsut say I'm the black guy from so and so and they'll be all "oh shit that is you. that show was the shit. come on in"

MicahVincent00 (10:43:57 PM): I'd be set for life

YTS8088 (10:44:07 PM): true

MicahVincent00 (10:44:44 PM): "Excuse me, I'm the black guy from 'Trinity River Blues' I dont have to pay for nothing"

YTS8088 (10:45:00 PM): "yes sir"
YTS8088 (10:45:50 PM): you could just start claiming your a voice actor

MicahVincent00 (10:46:07 PM): damn right
MicahVincent00 (10:46:16 PM): hehe Trinity River Blues

YTS8088 (10:46:27 PM): ?

MicahVincent00 (10:46:45 PM): making up crappy nighttime tv soap opera name

YTS8088 (10:46:52 PM): ahh

MicahVincent00 (10:47:11 PM): in the vein of melrose place or beverly hills 90210, or dawson's creek
MicahVincent00 (10:47:19 PM): hmm
MicahVincent00 (10:48:03 PM): Las Vegas Dreams
MicahVincent00 (10:48:14 PM): New York Nights
MicahVincent00 (10:48:19 PM): Alabama Nigger Hunt

YTS8088 (10:48:57 PM): Great Big Open

MicahVincent00 (10:49:08 PM): haha yeah
MicahVincent00 (10:49:44 PM): as me as my witness I shall not rest til I have made a show called Alabama Nigger Hunt

YTS8088 (10:50:51 PM): thats great man, i wanna be a character in it, but not one of the hunters

MicahVincent00 (10:50:59 PM): haha
MicahVincent00 (10:51:21 PM): you can be Moonshine, the crafty white informant helping the darkies out

YTS8088 (10:51:28 PM): the long haired hippie dude that smokes alot of weed and boasts equal rights
YTS8088 (10:51:37 PM): that works too

MicahVincent00 (10:51:47 PM): away from Zeke, Big Zeke, Zeke Jr. , Scud, Willie, and good ol Cooter

YTS8088 (10:52:06 PM): everyone loves Cooter

MicahVincent00 (10:52:12 PM): yep
MicahVincent00 (10:52:18 PM): lovable old cracker

YTS8088 (10:52:33 PM): he gets killed in the second episode right?

MicahVincent00 (10:52:40 PM): yeah
MicahVincent00 (10:52:53 PM): "back in my day niggers would get shot from a white man and be proud of it"

YTS8088 (10:52:56 PM): otherwise, it wouldnt be american enough

MicahVincent00 (10:53:08 PM): oh my god, every black person in the world would kill me for that

YTS8088 (10:53:17 PM): this is true

MicahVincent00 (10:53:47 PM): small price to pay for being awesome

mm peanut butter and crack sammich!

2004-03-29T01:45:55Z

ANDY BROKE AN ELECTRIC DOOR AT WAL-MART!!!! Just walked right into the motherfucker and the damn thing turned sideways! Then we hauled ass! That's my boy, break shit then run. Must have been those mini cigars we smoked, fucked up the boys reaction time. Now if only I could do something stupid, er, stupider. I gotta be king of dumbass shit. I shall regain my crown, oh yes, you'll all see. Then who'll be the dumbfuck huh? That right me! ME! BOW DOWN! I'll be THE dumbass! Aww yeah! Aww....wait a second...? Dammit

Entry 2: Electric Boogaloo

2004-03-27T16:52:47Z

So what happened friday? Went to the movies and decided I really want to liv in a more city like area again. Downtown, where shits going on. I loved the big city life. I need the big city life. Where I can go do my laundry, bowl, and get pizza at 3 or 4 in the morn. Where hookers proudly roam the streets and a crackdealer can make his own fortune. Ahh the city...the energy....the random violence. Oh well, movies and shit were great and now I'm back to working on my story...have fun people

Quixotic

2004-03-25T21:56:29Z

quix·ot·ic
Pronunciation: kwik-'sä-tik
Function: adjective
Etymology: Don Quixote
1 : foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action
2 : CAPRICIOUS, UNPREDICTABLE
This smartass remark brought to you by Merriam-Webster online.

Damn you Merriam-Webster! Must nothing be a mystery anymore? I remember my staggering disappointment when I found out that fuckalicious wasn't a real word. Nor was Ball-eyed. But dammit at least Titmouse was there. Hehe...tit...thats a great word. Though for some reason I like boobs more, kinda like your response to it when you first notice you like them. Bo-ooooooo-obs.

Ahh good times...

hmm...well what do ya know.

2004-03-25T17:49:49Z

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Empathy
In a survival situation, you:	Play dead
Your hidden talent is:	Pragmatism
Your gift is:	Cunning
In groups, you:	Observe others' behaviour
Your best quality is:	Your creativity
Your weakness is:	Your overbearing nature

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

Booke The Firste

2004-03-25T17:44:55Z

So I've been doing the web journal thing a while, but all my friends are on live journal and they kept telling me to get one. I endured many rude names in the process. Cocksquirt, Fannypack Sally, Dicksucker Jones, Felch Monkey, Donkey fucker...okay so some of those may be accurate. Anyways today has been an interesting day, what with the waking and the eating and the...ya know other than that nothing exciting has really hap- OH YEAH I KILLED A CLOWN! He kept making some black guy/buig feet joke then whipped out his clown shoe. So I whipped I my glock and blam blam, who's laughing now motherfucker! Let that be a lesson to the rest of you clowns A St. B don't fuck around! I be bringing the caps. Anyways the day is just getting started, let's see how many more clowns I've killed

Clown Fatality Total (03/25/04): 23 and counting, (just the one and a clown car I blew up, they can fit a lot of those fuckers in there. Even with Sir Widebottom)

Thuse endethe thee entrye